Welcome to another installation of our wedding debate series! We’ve already discussed Fondant vs. Buttercream, Head vs. Sweetheart, and Destination Wedding vs. Local Wedding. Today we’re tackling First Look vs. Surprise Look at Ceremony! Tradition has long called for couples to not see each other till the bride walks down the aisle resulting in a climactic and emotional experience for the couple and their guests. But traditions evolve over time and now days more and more couples are choosing to do a “first look”. A definite upside to the first look is the private time spent with your loved one before the chaos of the wedding day begins, but nothing beats the look of a groom as he sees his bride walking down the aisle for the first time. Below we have some wedding experts weigh in with their opinion. Let us know what you think!
Becky Hill of Becky Hill Photography: As a photographer, I prefer that couples see each other before the ceremony. I truly feel that the “first look” is one of the most important elements of a wedding day. When couples choose to see each other before the ceremony it allows them the time to enjoy the occasion in a private environment. I have the rare privilege of witnessing the excitement and anticipation of these intimate moments. Judging by the heartfelt reactions of my couples, choosing to see one another before the ceremony does not diminish the significance of walking down the aisle.
Ben Potter of Cana VP: Personally, I had always imagined what I would feel like and how that would move me seeing my wife walk down the aisle for the first time. That desire being there early on made it easy for me to make that vision happen. With our ceremony we tried to combine a beautiful intimate setting while inviting everyone that we love and would want to witness our first moments together as a married couple.
Joel Flory of Flory Photo: About half of the couples we photograph choose not to see one another. If our clients dream of seeing each other for the first time walking down the aisle, not a problem—we’ll plan the photo session accordingly and get plenty of getting-ready shots on both sides. That said, all of our clients who do choose to see each other say it was one of their best wedding-day decisions. It’s a really intimate moment, and one that can really set them at ease. There isn’t much chance to say “Wow, you look wonderful” in front of all the guests at the ceremony. Another benefit is that we can capture most of the formal photos before the ceremony, which means more time for mingling with guests and enjoying the cocktail hour. That’s particularly important if they are having a sunset wedding—we’ll get the best of the natural light beforehand!
Amanda Halbrook of 100 Layer Cake: I think having a first look before the big ceremony gives the bride and groom a chance to really take each other in, and experience the moment more deeply together with no one else looking (except for the photog, of course ;). It’s also a great way for them to release the jitters (and some of the sweet tears) together before walking down the aisle!
Photo by Amy Carroll
Photo by Carla Ten Eyck Photography
Photo by Leigh Miller
Photo by Erica Schneider
Photo by Jessica Claire
Photo by Max Wagner
That didn’t really seem like a debate but more so a chance for photographers to talk couples into doing a first look. I agree that it can be a special moment and creates more time after the ceremony for the couple to spend with the guests. However, some couples feel strongly about the tradition and surprise element of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. Some of them feel a little put off when photographer’s try to talk them into doing a first look.
I guess it depends on the time of day that the ceremony is. If it is in the evening when there is not enough light for pictures after the ceremony, then yes first look before the ceremony. Just as long as I have a good picture of his face the moment he sees me in my dress, with my hair, make up and nails done, you know all dolled up.
But if there is enough time and light for pictures after the ceremony, then he will not see me at all until I am walking to him. Then, I still want the picture of him seeing me for the first time, all dolled up.
I like what Ben said about wanting to share his first moment seeing his wife with all this loved ones! It’s so nice to hear that from a GUY. Usually they’re just whatever 🙂
We waited until the walk down the aisle and I can’t describe how special this moment will be for the rest of my life!! Totally get the reasons for the first look, I guess I’m just a traditionalist 🙂
I think it really depends on the couple. I can see how a walk down the isle reveal moment would be very special to a couple who is traditional or who wants to share the moment with their guests. Kevin & I did a first look at our wedding, which, 17 years ago, was a very new concept. I’m so glad we did. We’re pretty private people & that moment was ours alone (well, with the photographer). The day was very hectic managing out of town guests, record heat, and all the other things that go on during a wedding. It was nice to have those 20 minutes or so to just take a deep breath and take it all in, to experience the beginning of our marriage by ourselves. The walk down the isle was still a special memory full of laughter because my Daddy made us walk down the verrrry long isle in slow-step.
Helena, et al. While I am all for tradition, the funny thing is that most religious ceremonies actually have the couple seeing each other before the big public ceremony, i.e. the Bedecken (or Unveiling) Ceremony in Jewish Weddings.
I agree with Helena, that it seemed like most of the photographers seem to prefer the First Look. I know our photographers have asked us whether we want to do it, but we are both very very set on doing it in ceremony. Good post, interesting debate- I get the reasons for First Look, but there just is something special to walking into church and knowing my future husband will see me in few minutes and then we’ll be married! 🙂
I have seen my couples do it both ways. I think the ones that choose to do First Look are always so happy they did it. I also believe that seeing each other first in private is much more intimate for all the reasons given above AND it does not really take away that moment when the groom first sees his bride escorted in and down the aisle with all the guests standing on either side of her. It is an additional wonderful moment and still brings tears to many a groom’s eyes whether he has seen her ahead of time or not. If I was getting married again, I would definitely do First Look!
Yes photographers might be talking their client into this because it makes for better photographs. But the truth is that is makes for a less stressful day for the bride and groom as well. Applause all around! Also, do people even know why they prefer tradition. The tradition of not seeing the bride until she walked down the isle and with the veil… dates back to arranged marriages. They didn’t want the groom to see his future bride until pronounced husband and wife and lifting of the veil…. in case she was a dog and he wanted to back out…LOL!…well basically!
So who really cares about this tradition, being happy on your wedding day is a better tradition and a first look, or even groomals on a previous day is the way to go!